If ever the day comes, you glanced back at some of the years well gone and questioned the choices you made, the irreversible hurt that you caused, the “why” and the “how” and wishing hard, still, that you could turn time around and not carve those deep wounds. You had been pondering hard for years: what made you choose to do or say the things that you did? Why does this person seem like someone whom you never knew and never would? How could that have been you? It was. You did. You were.
You realize that “amends” are just selfish thoughts to make yourself feel lesser guilt by admitting your remorse. It will not undo what was done.
“If I had not been so willful… wait… when did I become so willful? How have I turned into what I was? What happened?”
There are things in life that we will never find answers to. There are times when we will have to learn to let go, let live, and move on – remember the pain and learn to be stronger, better.
I pray that life will be good to everyone.